Pondering A Big Question

One of the biggest questions since T1D came into my life is: how do I deal with telling people who don't know me? Do I wait, get to know them, and vice versa? Or, should I just be upfront right off the bat? A big part of me wants to wait and get to know him/her. A smaller part of me says "just go for it. If they can't deal, that's their problem." You know those people who are naturally curious; they must know everything or think they know it all? I don't want T1D or any other health issue to be a focus of the relationship. Whether it is a friendship or dating, its hard to know if I am making the right choice. Many people like to jump to conclusions very quickly. He/she might begin the whole "my grandma or grandpa has diabetes. Or, I get the shakes sometimes."
There is a separate condition that causes low blood sugar, but that is NOT diabetes, one OR two.  I don't know what is so hard to understand about this. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking to myself, "why does this bother me so much?"
I know just because I don't like to immediately tell people my health issues doesn't mean they don't want to tell me. For whatever reason that might be. Pity, sympathy, or whatever.  Personally, I'm not into pity parties.  I can throw my own if I feel like it, lol. An empathy party is better.

Any thoughts or insight would be welcomed. Thanks for reading!

Christina Lynn <3

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things...

No, I am not a fan of The Sound of Music, but instead of talking about T1D and immune systems gone awry, I will tell you more about me.  There is more to me than having diabetes. And there is more to me than designer clothing.  Don't judge!! Sorry, but I had to say it! Sometimes you have to read between the lines..............

Likes (in no particular order)


Leopard prints
Purple
Apple products (Macbook Pro, Iphone)
Designer handbags (Coach, Juicy Couture)
Uggs
Fictional novels
Biographies on Marie Antoinette
Comedies on DVD (I <3 Lucy, Two and a Half Men)
Driving

                   
                         Being goofy with my friends, like Ethel and Lucy!



Dislikes (in no particular order)


Math
Science
T1D
Celiac Sprue
JRA
Boredom

Sorting Out Emotions

When you are first diagnosed with ANY type of chronic condition, some of the first feelings you experience are anger, denial, sadness, fear, etc. Its a process of grieving. You are grieving for the person you were before the diagnosis.  You want life to go back to the way it was before. The likelihood of that happening is probably zilch. So now you must figure out how you're going to deal with the newest card Life has dealt. You might have seen it coming. I didn't. Well, I knew something was wrong. I didn't want to think it was majorly life threatening.  My bad! After I had the colonoscopy in January of 2004, my symptoms of thirst, hunger and fatigue left me.......I thought.........for good.  I know now I was in the Honeymoon stage. Some honeymoon. Usually, at this point, people have already been diagnosed, and they are prepared to deal with this temporary break. Mine lasted two weeks. After that, it was all downhill from there. 

In The Absence of Testing Strips

Since this past Monday, I have been without testing strips for my Freestyle Lite meter. Not good. I don't like it when I can't use my meter. One time, when I was in college, the battery on my meter went dead. Again, not good. The reason why my prescription ran out early was I checked my sugar more than 4 times a day.  Sometimes I check it randomly, or before I begin driving, but the main reason I test more than I should is because I am no longer able to tell when my sugar goes too low. Aka. hypoglycemia-low blood sugar. This could be from 51, 60, 45. My lowest--at least that I know of--is 27. Holy cats!! The medical term for this is hypoglycemia unawareness. This is one of the scary parts of T1D.

http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/treatment-and-care/blood-glucose-control/hypoglycemia-low-blood.html
Scroll down towards the bottom of the page for more info.

Everyone should learn this info, especially if you know me personally, or someone else with T1. You never know when it might save our life!

**Saturday I should be able to get this thing filled and this crisis will be over!
** I have been able to check my sugar at least once a day with another meter. I wouldn't recommend it though. But these things happen-unfortunately. I wish they didn't. 

To tell, or not to tell, that is the question!

Not everyone wants to be up front with their condition, especially when first meeting someone. There are a lot of misconceptions and myths out there about T1D. (And Type 2, for that matter.) Whether that person is a potential friend,  longtime friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, one can never be sure how he/she will react. Most people will say something like "oh, that's where you can't have sugar, right?" Or-my personal favorite, "my grandma, friend, cousin-or whomever has that!" Yeah, yeah. I've heard all that before. Everyone has heard that line before! Knowing someone with diabetes, One OR Two does not make you an expert in insulin, carbs and testing. Just for kicks, the next time someone starts telling me how to live MY life with T1D, I'm going to go all Quizmaster on them:

1 . Give me the names of 4 insulins-long or short acting.
2. What does CGM stand for and what does it do?
3. DKA stands for.........
4. Why is DKA dangerous for someone with Type 1?

I think this is where they get defensive and I can tell they haven't got as much knowledge as they thought. If someone wants to prove me wrong, that's fine. Please do! I would feel a lot better knowing you are correctly informed.

*****This particular entry was inspired by reading one of the most offensive conversations I've ever read about someone with Type 1. (This was on a FB page for Type 1.) Two girls were talking about the first girl's boyfriend, who is now using a pump. Basically, she  made him sound like a mentally handicapped person who has been rehabilitated. "Now that he has a pump, he can live a normal life and interact with others!" Excuse me people, this does NOT fly with me. The kicker was at the end, when Girl #1 told her friend she didn't see the relationship working out. Girl #2 agreed, saying how he didn't fit into her lifestyle. FAIL.

Its 4:25 and I can't sleep-so.........

Sometimes I get so frustrated when the subject of diabetes, 1 or 2, comes up in a conversation. Who ever brings the topic up, them or me. It dosen't matter. The almost comical part is when someone says something like "too much sugar causes diabetes." Or my new personal favorite "its not that bad. It could be worse. You could have cancer." Or something along those lines.

Here is a news flash. Type 1 diabetes can kill. I'm not exaggerating. It is a fight every single day to survive.  Some days are easier than others. I'm not trying to sound bitter, but these are the facts. This is the reality for thousands of people in the US and around the world. We fight to keep our sugar under control so we don't develop kidney failure or go blind. Or develop nerve damage.  This is not easy. Controlling T1D is a full time job.

We--and I speak for all people with T1D OR T2D-- eat and drink things we shouldn't. Luckily, the insulins currently on the market allow flexibility. But DO NOT JUDGE US. Because you have NO idea what we go through each day. I don't care if you have a nursing background or your grandmother has Type 2!!! Until you are actually diagnosed with either diabetes, you simply cannot know what its like. You can make all the comparisons you want.

Right now I'm more sensitive to the crap people say about diabetes because a family member of mine who was diagnosed with Type 2 five years ago was told he needs to be on insulin. And there were major complications because of that.

Ok, I need to try and sleep again. I needed to get some of this out there. I know from reading other T1D blogs that I am not alone in what I am going through or the issues and prejudices I face.  Its harder though, coming from your relatives and people close to you. They can't know what its like...........

My Bucket List-In No Particular Order

1. Take a Caribbean cruise
2. Visit Versailles 
3. Swim with dolphins
4. Write a book
5. Publish that book
6. Buy a house on the beach (or near the beach)
7. Live in New York City or Philadelphia 

What I wish I had known on-and after- 3/27/04

Dear Christina:

You will survive this difficult time. You will not die. Your goal of going to Wesley will happen. It will take a little longer to graduate, but you will make it happen as well. Being a person with Type 1 is not easy. Getting T1D under control is--as your endo will tell you--"one of the hardest things you will ever do."

You will get angry and frustrated with yourself when your BS (blood sugar) is not in the target range 90-150. People will say "you can go on pills!" They probably mean well, but they are misinformed. Comments such as these will drive you bonkers. You will try to help set the record straight by writing a blog on T1D.

FYI: T1D is a full time job. The clock is running 24/7. You can't take a vacation and forget your portable pancreas (lancets, testing strips, meter, insulin pens, needle tips. And always bring back ups!) Of course, having said that, there will be instances when all hell will break loose (hehehe)........such as a visit to New Jersey to see the relatives, you will realize you DON'T HAVE YOUR FREAKIN testing strips!!!!! And other incidents like that. Noooo biggie!

Signed,
The Pancreas Grim Reaper

PS. SO sorry I had to kill the insulin producing beta cells!
PPS. Nah, I'm glad I took it.
PPS. I'm evil, deal with it!

How it all came about (Part 1)

Sometimes, I think about what could have been done differently in the diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes.  I can't help it.  Had I been diagnosed sooner, I would have had time to process the reality of the situation and dealt with it more calmly. At least, that's what I tell myself. Of course, I'll never find out. No, having Type 1 is NOT the end of the world, thanks to the invention of insulin in 1922. Before then, Type 1 was a death sentence. It almost was for me, thanks to a negligent nurse practitioner.

Towards the end of 2003, I was taking classes at the state community college. My mom wasn't doing so well. I figured stress was the culprit of my increased appetite and fatigue. Oh, and I losing weight, bit by bit. My doctors agreed with me that I was overwhelmed. I wasn't sleeping well and my body was out of whack. Boy, was it ever! And things would only get worse before they could get better.

To be continued-

Check this link out of you want to learn more. http://www.nobelprize.org/educational/medicine/insulin/discovery-insulin.html